Chuck Norris was going to send an email, but decided it would be faster to run.
Chuck Norris smashed a mirror over a black cats head while standing under a ladder, then won the lottery.
Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
Action speaks louder than words. Chuck Norris speaks louder than action.
Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.
Chuck Norris jumped off a building once. The ground didn't make it..
Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd - No one fools with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris calls push-ups "earth downs".Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together
Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Leading hand sanitisers claim they can kill 99.9% of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100% of whatever the hell he wants.
Some kids pee their name in snow. Chuck Norris pees his name in concrete.
There once was a street named after Chuck Norris but they renamed it. No one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Optimus Prime is the nickname for Chuck Norris's toaster.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Some people can kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris kills to stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris once found the fountain of youth but didn't drink because he wasn't thirsty.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.
Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
If you rate this 5 roundhouse kicks, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
They were going to put Chuck Norris in Grand Theft Auto. But nobody takes Chuck Norris' car.
Chuck Norris made death valley
Please Post any ones not used down below!
Chuck Norris smashed a mirror over a black cats head while standing under a ladder, then won the lottery.
Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
Action speaks louder than words. Chuck Norris speaks louder than action.
Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.
Chuck Norris jumped off a building once. The ground didn't make it..
Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd - No one fools with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris calls push-ups "earth downs".Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together
Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Leading hand sanitisers claim they can kill 99.9% of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100% of whatever the hell he wants.
Some kids pee their name in snow. Chuck Norris pees his name in concrete.
There once was a street named after Chuck Norris but they renamed it. No one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Optimus Prime is the nickname for Chuck Norris's toaster.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Some people can kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris kills to stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris once found the fountain of youth but didn't drink because he wasn't thirsty.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.
Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
If you rate this 5 roundhouse kicks, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
They were going to put Chuck Norris in Grand Theft Auto. But nobody takes Chuck Norris' car.
Chuck Norris made death valley
Please Post any ones not used down below!
